It was a cold November day back in 2001 in Greenville, SC. I came home from school where we had celebrated Thanksgiving, and my dad was in the backyard preparing the turkey we had been raising since earlier in the year to be our dinner later that week. It was gross, interesting, and bizarre all at the same time. I couldn’t believe that something that we had fed and played with would now feed us. Having not grown up on a farm, this was a strange phenomenon to my 5 year old self. Christmas time came and we did the same thing with the second turkey we had been raising. Stay with me - I’ll get to the point.

Growing up in a household where both of my parents were in full time christian service meant that we didn’t have much money, so my dad was always looking for ways to still have the full experience of holidays and holiday dinners without dropping an entire weeks salary. The best way he could do that was raising turkeys and making the turkey last for as long as possible. After we finished each holiday meal my parents took the leftover turkey and made delicious turkey soup! It was pretty good - the first 30 times we had it. They had to freeze it and keep adding more stock and noodles to make it stretch to get us through a tough time. We were eating Turkey Soup until July that year.

I was sick and tired of Turkey Soup - just like the  Israelites were tired of the manna in the wilderness (Numbers 11). The book of Exodus talks about this God given bread which was pretty bland and boring. It was their breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 40 years, which makes me so thankful for the Turkey Soup only lasting 8 months! Just like the manna was a provision from God, so was the turkey soup! I had no idea at that time what our true financial situation was, or that the turkey soup was making it possible for my mom and dad to feed us at night. As I got older and gained more understanding I became increasingly grateful for that turkey soup and for those 2 turkeys that kept my belly full for so long. I also became aware and grateful of the other sacrifices my parents made to keep food on the table, and to keep me as much in the dark of the severity of our situation.

Gratitude comes easy when we are happy and it’s easy to see the positive, but what about in the hard trials or the boring months of Turkey soup? Taking inventory daily of what the Lord has done makes it easier to see the positive in the toughest of times. Try for one week to write down 10 things daily that you are grateful for - and dig deep. What for patterns in your emotions and relationships as you are looking for the positive in what the Lord is doing in your life. You just may see a major shift in your relationship with God.

Have you ever said or done something that as soon as you walk away you cringe and think “Ew, why did I just say/do that?!” Me too. We have all been “socially awkward” at one point or another, but there’s this thing that we all have that tells us when we’ve done that awkward thing called: Emotional Intelligence. There’s more to it than that, but at the base level that’s what it is! You make a joke at your friends expense before you realize they're trying to tell you something really heartbreaking. You ask a question without realizing it’s probably too personal. You let your friend down by overcommitting and not following through on what you’ve promised to do for them. You jump down your friend's throat for ditching you at lunch before finding out they had to retake a quiz they failed. Your friends do all the work in a group project because you waited until the last minute to get started. The list goes on and on. What do all of these things have in common that they are lacking: social skills, self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation.

The formal definition of emotional intelligence (also known as EQ) is the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as other people’s emotions. You have that ability by breaking it down into the different facets of EQ as listed below:

• Social skills is the competence in facilitating interaction and communication with others within the realm of the social rules such as communication both verbal and non-verbal. (Colossians 4:5-6 - “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”)
• Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own emotions, strengths, and limitations, and their impact on others around you. (Romans 12:3 - “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.”)
• Self-regulation allows you to wisely manage your emotions and impulses. (Proverbs 16:32 - “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
•     and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”)
• Empathy is having the ability to identify and understand other’s emotions. (Romans 12:15 - “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”)
• Motivation is having the internal drive or need to complete a goal. (1 Thessalonians 1:3 - “Remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”)

Now you have all of this information and you’re probably looking back on times you were lacking EQ. So why did I bring this up and make you feel uncomfortable? Because lacking EQ as a christian teen doesn’t just affect your relationship with your christian friends, christian teachers, christian parents, etc. But it also impacts your ability to be salt and light out in the world with your non-believing friends and acquaintances. If you are “socially awkward” (or lack EQ) then it can be a turn off, you’ll lack credibility, and you could even push the unbeliever away from the Truth (Christ).